I am Really Popular with Imaginary People

Katy Hirst Wants to be My Friend

Katy Hirst Wants to be My Friend

Katy Hirst was the first to show up about nine months ago. I was thrilled! What a gorgeous young woman – and she wants to be my friend?! I wonder how she found out about my awesomeness? I didn’t remember meeting her anywhere.

I took a look at her profile. Katy seemed to be a very entertaining person indeed.

Katy Hirst Wants to be My Friend

Katy Hirst Seemed to be an Entertaining Person

Katy seemed to be a college girl. She seemed to live near the beach somewhere. By the looks of it, she was very amorous, and perhaps a bit morally flexible. Wow. Wonderful.

However, it did seem a little odd. I am not exactly George Clooney. Hmmm…. how about her other friends?  Katy had about 100 Facebook friends at the time – all men and of all ages.  Continuing to look at her online history, her entire online existence occurred on November 5, 2012. No posts before. No posts after.

Looking at Google, “Katy Hirst” had no internet footprint whatsoever, at least none that matched the luscious young woman in the photos.  So what was the point?  I never did figure it out.

Stephana Karlin wants to Contact Me

Stephana Karlin wants to Contact Me

Obviously, the cloud-ghost of internet social media got the message: I was not going to be taken in by some bikini-clad bimbo splashing in the surf. Also, blonde didn’t seem to be getting my interest up. We needed something more serious, and definitely a brunette.

A few months later “Stephana Karlin” wanted to connect to me on LinkedIn. This looked much better. Brunette, still with a sort of impression of moral flexibility, but a more serious version. No splashing around in the surf, more of a torrid office romance.

On closer inspection, however, Stephana seemed to be just as imaginary as Katy. I was really impressed, however, with the 3D animation. I am learning to do 3D modeling using Blender 3D and someone must have put months of work into making the imaginary photo of Stephana Karlin.

Obviously, the cloud-ghost of internet social media was frustrated!  I wasn’t responding to anything. It had send me a blonde splashing in the beach – nothing. It had sent me a brunette ready for an office romance – nothing. Clearly, something must be entirely misaligned!

Barry Flemming wants to be My Friend

Barry Flemming wants to be My Friend

The obvious conclusion? I must be gay! The cloud-ghost of social media is anxious to please! Barry Fleming showed up a few days ago….

One thought on “I am Really Popular with Imaginary People

  1. Hi! At least one of your imaginary people also has multiple names! This Katy you talk about also appears on Facebook as Karen Egger. All posts there were also on November 5, 2012 too (no posts after or before) and also exactly the same posts. All photos are the same too. The “Following” is different however.
    The Karen Egger profile on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/karen.egger.1238?lst=1706865680%3A100004632131668%3A1482461833&qsefr=1

    More:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/katy-michaelis/
    https://twitter.com/katymichaelis

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